THE CUSP REVOLIUTION

Introducing the most fabulous fast food perversion since fat kids topped their pizza with ice-cream. It's a little bit breakfast and a little bit lunch. It's the perfect postmodern pattie and it exists (though unofficially) for a mere sliver of time between 10:29am and 10:31am daily at McDonalds... It is THE CUSP BURGER!!!

This magical combo was created by a Sydney couple and has spread like poison running through Alice Cooper's veins... It even has it's own Facebook page where Cusp fans post photos of their Cusp creations!

How to CUSP: To begin, you will need some serious balls because you will have to approach the  breakfast shift staff at McDonalds and get them on board (this may well be the first time they have ever heard of such revolutionary burger construction).

Secondly, select an appropriate item from the breakfast menu, say, the pattie from a Sausage and Egg McMuffin , then select a suitable Cusp match from the lunch menu - In this case, a Cheeseburger.

Finally, have your Cusp Enabler (cooperative McDonalds staffer), combine the two selections into one meal - There you have THE CUSP BURGER!

Another winning combo is a breakfast hash brown and a Grand Angus Burger, but the possibilities are endless! Jump on their Facebook page, CUSP BUSTERS, and join the revolution!

*This is not an official McDonalds menu item. No copyright infringement is intended in this blog, this is just one humble opinion about a kick-ass meal. 

CAPELA DOS OSSOS - THE CHAPEL OF HUMAN BONES

That's right, you heard me!

For fans of the macabre, this is a must see travel destination, and well worth the 2 hour bus ride from Lisbon, Portugal's Rocking Capital. Located in Evora, underground, beneath The (catholic) Royal Church of St Francis, Capella Dos Ossos is a consecrated chapel decorated roof to floor in human skeletons.

Built by Franciscan monks between 1460 and 1510, the chapel's primary purpose was to house the skeletons relocated from the then 42 cemeteries surrounding Evora. The monks chose to display the bones as a reminder of the inevitability of death, but also as a reminder, that (according to their catholic beliefs) citizens could live on, through Jesus. A message they drove home with the addition of an alter and crucifix, and more literally through the decorative Latin phrasing "I leave but I don't die", and "I die in the light" which still appears on the chapel roof today ( or at least did in 2003 when I was there).

From the street, The Royal Church of St Francis looks like any other Renaissance style Catholic Church, beautifully designed, heavily adorned and steeped in tradition. It's when you begin to descend underground, you soon realise that you are in for something very different! The pillared entrance to the chapel is engraved with the Latin "Nós ossos que aqui estamos, pelos vossos esperamos: Our bones that are here wait for yours!" and that is where the creepy starts. It's dark, but with dramatic floor lights used to highlight some of the features, like the TWO FULL HUMAN CORPSES THAT HANG FROM THE WALL, ONE OF A MAN, ONE OF HIS CHILD! (You can gag now if you like). There are many legends about who these two, the most popular being that it is the corpse of a cheating husband and his child cursed by the jilted wife, but whatever you believe, this is seriously dark stuff to see. I didn't know to expect the full corpses going in, and when I saw the adult corpse I was taken back, but fascinated, when I saw the baby my heart skipped a full beat. I like creepy and I like strange, but this was, and remains in the top 4 things I have seen that I wish I never did. 

(The other things on that list are a fresh dead body, a dissected foetus and Miss Congeniality 2!)

LAUNCELOT LINK - SECRET CHIMP

When I was about five or six years old, my aunty took me to see The Great Moscow Circus On Ice. It was the early 80's, I was out past my bedtime and loving it. Just as I thought life couldn't get any better, through a shimmer of fog, out onto the ice skated the most beautiful black bear I had ever seen... She was in white skate boots and a purple skirt and skated up to within feet of me. I thought I had died and gone to heaven! Years on, I realised that this was completely unnatural and unfair behaviour to expect from a bear, but the joy of that moment never left me... which explains my bizarre fascination with animals exhibiting human behaviours... and the clothes, theres nothing that gets me giggling like a Chimpanzee in a dress...

ENTER LAUNCELOT LINK - SECRET CHIMP!

Launcelot Link was basically 'Get Smart' but with Chimpanzees. A bumbling secret agent with a pretty sidekick, working for the Agency to Prevent Evil (APE), fighting villains from Criminal Headquarters of Underworld Master Plan (CHUMP). This was television gold, and actually quite big budget for the 70's. My favourite twist was Launce and Mata Hairi's band, The Evolution Revolution, whose music was used to send encoded messages to other APE agents. Brilliant! The show ran saturday mornings for 2 seasons and a total of 30 episodes between September '70 and September '72. It was re-run in the mid 80's, which is when I fell in LOVE with it. I have recently discovered that it was released on DVD in 2006... that said, I'm off to EBAY to gets myself some Launcelot Link Love!

Tom the Leopard Man of Skye

This guy is BRILLIANT!

The Isle of Skye is off the west coast of the Scottish Mainland and IT IS COLD! I spent a few nights there, in Kyleakin at The Saucy Mary Hostel in 2004 in the hope of meeting the infamous Tom The Leopard Man, but it was without result. Well, I say without result but I managed to drink plenty of Tequilla during my stay ; )

Tom is a London born loner who made the ballsy choice to cover his body in "the biggest tattoo in the world"... and he did it. In fact, with 99.2% of his body covered in the leopard design, Tom held the Guiness World Record for most tattooed person until 2006. Not content with the Ink modification, Tom had cosmetic modification dentistry to push the boundary of his Leopard Man look with wicked results!

Tom lived as a recluse on the Island, in a self modelled cabin, without furniture, running water or electricity for 21 years. Weekly canoe trips across to town on the mainland to stock up on his fave tinned food were dangerous... and bloody cold... but worth it for the man who claims he is more alone in a city filled with people. I get that, and I have some serious respect for the man. How many people are brave enough to make that choice? and keep making it every winter for 21 years when the weather on Skye is the coldest of the cold!

In 2008, at 72 years, Tom chose to trade his life of recluse for one with a bed and warm water. I really get that. The weekly canoe trip to the mainland was becoming harder and lets face it... the now 74 year old ex-military man deserves a little comfort.

So I never did meet Tom, but can claim fame on behalf of my man, a Royal Navy Clearance Diver, who met Tom at his dwelling and helped him out with transporting some supplies.

I was dead jealous!

Kick-Ass Camilla!

Every Blog needs a first real post, and I could'nt think of anyone who i'd rather have pop-my-blog's-cherry than the sensational CAMILLA DÉRRICO!

This Canadian Comic book Queen is a convention staple, but she's no booth bitch. A regular exhibitor in both group and solo shows worldwide, and a recent live painting gig at the Winter Olympics prove that Camilla is versatile, sassy and can kick-it with the big boys! Those in Europe should do the electric slide over to Rome for Saturday June 5, and the opening of her new solo show at the famous Mondo Bizzarro Gallery (who have a great website).

This unapologetically commercial powerhouse is respected equally by die hard fanboys (and girls) and pop art collectors. Adored the world over, her feminine mix of graphics and technique look as amazing on the gallery wall as it does on the ass-end of your snowboard or iphone. She is definately new-school and definately very very cool!

Her paintings are pretty and strange, a little like candy-flipping at the zoo. The girls are always adorable, sometimes sexy and sometimes they devour butterflies. Worth exploring too, Camilla's signature Tank Girl series is a bio-mechanical wonder.

Anime is not my thing, not that I don't like it, It's just that I feel so uninitiated. To Camilla's credit, her Anime is sweet enough that I feel allowed to enjoy it. That's the thing about Camilla, she dips her brush in equal amounts of sweet and strange, and that's just the way I like it!

Get some Camilla in your life. She Rocks!

http://www.camilladerrico.com/

http://www.mondobizzarro.net/

WELCOME TO MY WONDERLAND!

I have long been a fan of the odd things in life... Pregnant brides, people with big gaps in their front teeth, tattoos... lots of tattoos, lowbrow art, and the weird sexual tension in the three-way that is Tim Burton, Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham-Carter. How you ask does this affect you, you ask? Well my friend, Kustom Kulture is on the rise and I'm going to help you get in on the ground floor.

The tattooed shall inherit the earth, and when we do, you should really be on board (ideally a skateboard, but whatever works).

I'm 30, I've travelled to seventeen countries, married a sailor and have a child with a fire-red Afro... I'm cool, and as Kermit will tell you, It's not easy being cool...finding an 'Original vintage' t-shirt these days (not one manufactured to look vintage) is no mean feat. Discovering a REALLY cool band who rock out harder in their garage than Warrant rocked MY Cherry Pie, a miracle in this manufactured monstrosity of a music industry. The death of popular music... the day I heard The Black Eyed Peas 'I've got a feeling' and tried to dig my own eardrums out with a spoon.

Bottom line... Here in my Guide to Cooler Living, you will find the best and brightest of everything I deem to be COOL. Read it, live it, love it, and you too can jump on my Kustom Candy-Apple Chevy ride to Cool Town - Population... Me, Benji Madden, Roller-girls and Tight (or baggy) Jeans on tattooed men, B-Grade slasher movies starring Bruce Campbell and.... (wait for it)... Tom the Leopard Man. If you thought I was going to say you, give me some credit... this is not a cheese factory ; )